{"product_id":"soy-candle-smells-like-my-last-braincell-humorous-scented-candle-9oz","title":"Soy Candle - \"Smells Like My Last Braincell\" (9oz)","description":"\u003cp\u003eLight this candle. Stare at the flame. Feel briefly at peace before remembering seventeen things you forgot to do. Repeat.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eThis 9oz soy candle is hand-poured from a 100% natural soy wax blend and burns for 50–60 hours — which is approximately how long it takes your last braincell to process a simple task. The reusable glass jar is clean, minimal, and will absolutely become a holder for random small items you don't know what to do with. Choose from scents like \u003cstrong\u003eApple Harvest\u003c\/strong\u003e (cozy, productive-feeling, zero productivity required), \u003cstrong\u003eSea Salt + Orchid\u003c\/strong\u003e (for when you need to feel like a person who has it together), or \u003cstrong\u003eUnscented\u003c\/strong\u003e (for when even choosing a smell feels like too much). No harsh chemicals, no synthetic dyes — just clean, slow-burning comfort for your one remaining braincell.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eProduct features\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eVegan, non-toxic formula — no parabens, plastics, or synthetic dyes\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eReusable glass jar (future home of hair ties, loose change, or mystery objects)\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e9 scent options plus unscented; infused with natural essential oils\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e100% natural soy wax + 100% cotton wick; burns ~50–60 hours\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eCompact 9oz (2.8\" × 3.5\") jar; ASTM safety compliant, assembled in the USA\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eCare instructions\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cul\u003e\u003cli\u003eKeep burning candle within sight. Keep away from children and pets. Never burn near flammable items. (Your braincell will thank you.)\u003c\/li\u003e\u003c\/ul\u003e","brand":"Designs By Dy","offers":[{"title":"Clean Cotton \/ 9oz","offer_id":51539921436905,"sku":"25642528567595101743","price":19.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Sea Salt + Orchid \/ 9oz","offer_id":51539921469673,"sku":"12818674423290094794","price":19.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White Sage and Lavender \/ 9oz","offer_id":51539921502441,"sku":"32478093804153553865","price":19.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Apple Harvest \/ 9oz","offer_id":51539921535209,"sku":"25798978907931148917","price":19.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Cinnamon Vanilla \/ 9oz","offer_id":51539921567977,"sku":"23951604974797967130","price":19.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Christmas Warmth \/ 9oz","offer_id":51539921600745,"sku":"28662045640192086412","price":19.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Coconut Cream + Cardamom \/ 9oz","offer_id":51539921633513,"sku":"14459724852636777393","price":19.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Peppered Passionfruit \/ 9oz","offer_id":51539921666281,"sku":"34695989333820135040","price":19.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Unscented \/ 9oz","offer_id":51539921699049,"sku":"42647682010005706642","price":19.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0818\/1576\/5225\/files\/13913697564979148713_2048.jpg?v=1784564157","url":"https:\/\/calmandclevergifts.com\/products\/soy-candle-smells-like-my-last-braincell-humorous-scented-candle-9oz","provider":"Calm and Clever Gifts","version":"1.0","type":"link"}