Soy Candle - "Smells Like My Last Braincell" (9oz)

Light this candle. Stare at the flame. Feel briefly at peace before remembering seventeen things you forgot to do. Repeat.

This 9oz soy candle is hand-poured from a 100% natural soy wax blend and burns for 50–60 hours — which is approximately how long it takes your last braincell to process a simple task. The reusable glass jar is clean, minimal, and will absolutely become a holder for random small items you don't know what to do with. Choose from scents like Apple Harvest (cozy, productive-feeling, zero productivity required), Sea Salt + Orchid (for when you need to feel like a person who has it together), or Unscented (for when even choosing a smell feels like too much). No harsh chemicals, no synthetic dyes — just clean, slow-burning comfort for your one remaining braincell.

Product features

• Vegan, non-toxic formula — no parabens, plastics, or synthetic dyes
• Reusable glass jar (future home of hair ties, loose change, or mystery objects)
• 9 scent options plus unscented; infused with natural essential oils
• 100% natural soy wax + 100% cotton wick; burns ~50–60 hours
• Compact 9oz (2.8" × 3.5") jar; ASTM safety compliant, assembled in the USA

Care instructions

• Keep burning candle within sight. Keep away from children and pets. Never burn near flammable items. (Your braincell will thank you.)